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The Littlest Tomasulo

Monday, December 29, 2008

Sharon's Theories of Nature and Babies

Adam hasn't quite figured out his hands yet. When he's hungry and he sees his bottle, he immediately reacts by trying to use his hands. But, not being sure what to do with them or how to do it, mostly he shoves them in front of his mouth. This is a pretty effective way to keep someone from putting a bottle between your lips, and I bet you can imagine how he LOVES that when he's hungry.

He's also losing his hair--he's got a great Bruce Willis widow's peak going on right now. I understand it's pretty normal for a baby to lose the hair he's born with, and I'm okay with that. I just wish he'd get on with that--there's nothing wrong with a bald baby, but a balding baby is a little like playing peekaboo with the Commish, if you know what I mean.

He also has baby acne, and some dry skin. Really, it's a tough puberty he's going through. Which brings me to:

My Theories on Babies and Human Nature

1. Baby acne is designed by nature to make mothers view pimples as adorable (because anything babies do that doesn't involve the destruction of mom's eardrums or a cleanup with Comet is adorable). This makes adolescence more tolerable by reminding mom of babyhood.

2. Grown-ups think belching and other gas is funny because, in their infancy, everyone got REALLY excited every time they burped. Everyone was PROUD of their gas when they were tiny. So their instinct is to celebrate their gas, but they're not quite sure how or why or what to do with that instinct. Hence: giggling, fart jokes. It's NATURE, man.

3. I've already told you the one of how nature created babies' love of loud noise and vibrations in anticipation of the long car ride to Grandma's house at Christmas. Sadly, what nature forgot to predict is the backup at the tollbooth on the Pike, leaving us with someone kind of screamy every time we stopped the forward momentum.

Ah, the mysteries of the universe.
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